so much to ask.

I love my husband and I love my friends... but when I'm alone and he's at work late or whatever, I feel so lonely. I go through my phone and there's noone to call- worth calling... they're all too busy with each other 20 miles away.

Here's what I want. A friend, or couple friends that live close by that I can have a connection with. A fun, deep, spiritual, intellectual, connection. I want to sit at the coffee house across the street and talk about books and current events... I want to have someone who will tell me when I'm being rediculous. (Jeremy does all the time, that's why I know it's true).

Instead, I lay here with my dog watching HGTV or discovery channel, eating something. I want to have friends I can be active with...

I've got 2 close girl friends left, i feel like. And they both live so far away. Jennifer hasn't been as close as she has in the past. Shelley is just pissing me off... repeating the same patterns over and over again. she likes the attention of being with a guy she has absolutely no interest in being with long term, so she abandons me- us. for him... to feel good.
whatever.

I just want to meet someone some discernment and wisdom. Who's interesting. And I want to hang out, and talk and not be lonely. I want to listen to their problems and fix them.... not be ingored and hear the same problem for 7 years over and over again.

I want a perfect relationship.... and that doesn't exist.

I've got it pretty good with Jay, but I can't be dependent on him to be everything all the time. He doesn't like to talk about the same things I do... And that's cool, I don't expect him to. He's awesome just the way he is... but im getting to the point where i do need that somewhere....

I guess for now it's found in a nameless faceless blog... unfortunate. oh well.

So for now I'm done whining and saying 'gimme gimme gimme'.
Instead of having a friend, I guess I need to focus on learning from my mentors. I have 2 amazing women teaching me everything they know. And I'm so excited to learn... Nicole is going to turn me into a selling beast. Rebecca is going to teach me how to not go insain in the process. I need them both.

It would just be nice, that's all.

..that's all.