Healthy

So, it's been awhile. Life has taken its twists and turns, spat me out the other side, and I'm better for it. Living in a bubble certainly has its advantages.... Instead of focussing on the clamor, I can choose to focus on what's important. I can choose to be joyful and thankful. Because its my choice, and all these things that people think and say just don't have the power they used to. My life isn't what I thought it would be. It wasn't what I planned. It's better. And even if people decide to judges the decisions I've made, it just means they aren't happy enough with their own life. We are all the same. We all sin. Noones perfect. Eternity is set inside everyone's heart... The thought that there is something bigger than us or the world is what life is all about. Everyone searches for a purpose. Everyone has a specific design and destiny that only that one person can choose to accomplish. And everyone wants to be loved. If this is what we all have in common, why worry about what divides us? I am healthy now. I am proud. I have joy. I have peace. I am blessed and highly favored. I love and am loved. I am responsible for my choices. I am learning every day. I am not perfect. I'm not trying to be... Life isn't black and white. Neither are relationships with people... Or god. Life is black. And white. And grey. They all have to exist for the sake of each other. And there are infinitely more shades of grey than black or white. That is what grace is to me. Necessary for existance, infinite, and a part of every color. Ignoring it. Taking it for granted. Withholding it from anyone. They're all suicide for the soul. I type all of this now. And it's still something I have to remind myself every day. Because its hard.... When ive let what other people think and say and feel about me control me for most of my life, deciding to let my life revolve around god and my family and letting that be what I choose to focus on is not exactly second nature yet. But I'm getting there. Kells talked a long time ago about a magnifying glass. Whatever you point your magnifying glass at looks bigger than in really is, and it's the only thing you can focus on.. But at any time you can choose to move the magnifying glass. So, new life update. I love Jesus with my whole heart. I'm in the healthiest, happiest, most loving, god centered relationship with the best man I've ever met in my life. I have a sweet bun in my oven. And every time she kicks me, I can't help but smile. She was promised to me. And she is a blessing. I can't wait to have "it". The loving family with the house and the dog playing in the yard. The picket fence. Walking down the aisle of the hardware store with my honey bear when we're old and fat. I love the traveling I've get to do now. I love the peace and the quiet. I love that god is a part of every thing. He's not ignored. He's involved. He can do whatever he wants. And he makes all things work out for good for those who love him. Even things people think aren't good..... But then again, the whole point of this is: who cares what anyone thinks? :)