I feel so sick all the time... and it's gotten worse.... it's getting worse...
annd I'm really scared.
I thought I knew what the doctor would say... I thought he'd say "oh, you're just crazy and ocd and depressed... here's some happy pills to keep you from trying anything stupid, sweetheart".
but this isn't just depression... i've got a bad feeling.
and im frustrated.
I'm a big fat fatty. I'm tired. I'm angry.
You know what would be fucking FAB?
Taking Nicole's job. sending that bitch on her way and doing her job better.
I was thinking about it today. I love coaching and teaching. I've done it for so long, and I'm good at it.
More specifically, I'm good at teaching people who are good, and want to be amazing.
How do I prove to Jenny that she should trade in a suck up no-talent bitch for some 23 year old who's not going to kiss ass (not that much anyway).
My mission in life is just to be taken seriously. really. that's all i want....nope, no it's not.
...... this is me talking out of both sides of my mouth at the same time.... I need to figure out what the hell i want and make a fucking plan.
this "flying by the seat of my pants" thing just is NOT working for me.... ugh.
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