Everyone has a secret but can they keep it? No they can't.

10 years ago was such a long time ago... and I'm glad it's gone and over. It was hard.

And when someone from a really hard time in life tries to inch back into mine, all of those bad memories just rush right back.
I don't mean for them to. It's not even that she'll be the same person she was back then....

It's that I can't help but think the only things she remebers about me are the terrible things.... the things that still aren't better are the only things we have in common. She was the only other person i ever knew that did what i did.

And I can't help but think that she's all better.. she's normal, nothing to hide.... But I've still got secrets. And she knows them....
and it emarrasses me that I'm not normal again because i should be.
and it frustrates me how long it's taking.

It's not that she was someone I didn't like from 10 years ago that's suddenly back and trying to be all buddy buddy.
She just knows too much. Only stuff that Jeremy is supposed to know.

I just want to keep hiding. and ignoring.
I'm not stupid. Everyone knows there's something wrong with me. Everyone knows I'm messed up.... They just don't know why.

I don't want them to know. I don't want anyone else to know how I got this way. ever.